“Ripples” (reprise)

On By Mike U.In Poetry

(originally posted 10/5/2021)

“Ripples”
(c) 2017 by Michael L. Utley

There are no ripples
On this frozen pond
The puk-puk-puk of
The pebble
Skittering on iced skin
Dampened by
Frost-thick air
Breath caught short
In lung-numbed gasps
Silent words
Suspended
In wintry sighs
Eyes pools of
Frigid tear-prisms
Bitter empty gelid rainbows
Where are you

You missed our flight to Tokyo
The cherry blossoms whispered your name
As Fuji, incurious and remote
Gazed white-helmed
At my solitary shadow
My empty hand
Holding more of you
Than my heart could bear
We did not walk
Beneath flicker-flamed
Paper lanterns
On blood-red bridges
Spanning koi ponds
Under the spring moon
The rising sun
Sought to kiss your cheek
But was denied
As I was denied

You missed auroras
Over Iceland
The Arctic colder
In your absence
The night sky draped
In shimmering iridescent
Thought
The emerald musings of some distant god
Snagged in dark desolation
My own thoughts of you
Caught in my own
Desolation

You missed the candent sands
Of Morocco
Capricious zephyrs
Erasing my footprints
In a desert bereft of
Your footprints
We did not dance
In the summer swelter
Beneath date palms
And stars that sought
To light your way
But failed
Your body absent
In my arms
The scent of your hair
A distant memory which
Hot breezes scatter
In the night

You missed our train
To the Rockies
Where larkspur and columbine
Awaited you with open arms
And later mourned in silence
My singular form without you
By my side
We did not hold hands in
Flower-burst mountain meadows
Azure lakes reflected only
My lone countenance
As conifers murmured
Demurely in cool breezes
Wondering if you
Would ever arrive

You missed our drive
Through New England hills
Autumn maple and hemlock
A conflagration burning for you
Yearning for you
The birches and beeches smoldering
In my heart
Red-orange-gold leaves
Suiciding in silent sadness
Loneliness wearing my face
Stalks these woods
You are nowhere to be found

You missed my arrival
In Singapore
The airport a swarm
Of faces
A blur of oceanic humanity
As I searched for one safe harbor
One stormless island
In this storm of chaos
Your face
A lighthouse to guide me home
Your beacon never appearing
No fog horn guiding me safely
Through treacherous surf
Your bottomless brown eyes
Nowhere
Your smile cut roughly from this mural
Missing
A ragged hole where you should be
In my life

Perhaps you were a
Phantom
All along

Puk-puk-puk
No ripples on this frozen pond
Not enough pebbles remain
To last until springtime thaw
One ripple is all I ask
One ripple to finally reach you
I’ll save a pebble
Just in case

50 thoughts on ““Ripples” (reprise)”

    1. Thank you, my friend, for your kind words. I’m happy to know you liked this poem and I’m always glad to have you visit. I hope you’re staying warm (it’s cold here in my part of the world, and it snowed yesterday). 🙂

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    1. Thanks so much. You’re right, of course–things just seem to have more beauty and meaning if we can share them with someone we love. It’s the bane of being old and alone, something I never thought I’d experience, but alas, here it is… I appreciate your kind support and hope you’re keeping toasty (it’s 22 F here right now, and it snowed a bit yesterday). 🙂

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    1. Kindest thanks, Michelle. This really means a lot to me and I truly appreciate your constant support. I hope December is treating you well (it’s brought a bit of snow here so far, but it’s already melted). Hopefully I can begin writing some new material soon–this time of year always inspires me for some reason. Anyway, I appreciate you, Michelle. Thanks for being here. 🙂

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    1. Aw, thanks, Filipa! I’m glad you enjoyed this one (even though it’s a sad piece). Your enthusiasm is contagious–your comment has made my day (or rather, my night), too! 🙂 Thank you, my dear friend. I appreciate you. 🙂

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    1. Thanks, Lauren. I’m happy to know this one spoke to you. Unfulfilled plans, promises dashed, lots of regrets…when love ends, there are so many pieces left to pick up and put back into place. Some memories are a little too painful to bear. Thanks for your kind words, my friend. 🙂

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    1. Thanks so much, Michele. Those memories of unfulfilled dreams seem frozen in time in my mind, so it felt right to use the frozen pond analogy. I still have a pebble left, by the way (figuratively speaking), but I know it won’t change anything. Such is life, I suppose. Thanks for your kindness. I appreciate it. 🙂

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    1. Kindest thanks, Diana. You’re right, of course–“what might have been” is something that seems to linger forever, and there’s nothing we can do to change it. This poem was written about a girl I knew years ago. She would talk about ideas for romantic getaways in faraway places, and we’d fantasize about the two of us exploring these exotic locals together. None of it came to pass, and after all these years those memories of what might have been are still painfully strong and vibrant, hence this poem. Once in a lifetime, you come across someone with whom you connect on the deepest level, and no one else ever comes close. She was that girl for me. All I have left of her are memories and the poetry I’ve written about her. Ah, the human condition…who needs it? 🙂

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  10. Where are you? — the first thing I always ask my daughter when she doesn’t reply to my text or message in 30 minutes (except when I know that she’s in class).

    Longing for that special person – I felt that in your poem.

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    1. Many thanks. Yep, that longing for someone can be excruciating, even years after all is said and done and the relationship has ended. All those faded memories of things we wanted to do, places we wanted to visit, and the knowledge that we were never able to experience any of those things can leave an unending ache in your soul. It’s weird to ponder “memories of things that never happened,” but that’s how it goes.

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    1. Thanks, Peggy. Yeah, I suppose I’m still a bit of a hopeless romantic at heart. The pebble I’ve saved all these years for this particular girl is figurative, of course, but all those memories are still so enduring. We never got to travel to the faraway places she mentioned so many times, so in this poem I imagined myself in those locales, waiting for her arrival…which never came. Sort of the story of my life, I reckon. Thanks for your kind and thoughtful words as always, my friend. 🙂

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  12. Wow! Your poetic craftsmanship shines brightly in this beautiful poem. The last stanza is imbued with profound emotions and leaves a lasting impact. The ripples, cherry blossoms, and the lighthouse are not only powerful metaphors but also add to the scenic beauty of the poem. No one can fill the space left vacant by the one(s) we hold dear.

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    1. Thank you kindly, Aaysid. “No one can fill the space left vacant by the one(s) we hold dear…” This is so true. She would talk about these exotic places she wanted us to visit, her imagination running wild (she was a writer, too, and a very good one), and although we never were able to travel to any of them, they’re still indelibly imprinted in my mind and always will be. Memories of events that never transpired is a weird notion, but the human heart is really good at holding dear to even the thought of wonderful things, even if they never occur. When all else is gone, only the memories remain…and perhaps one small pebble, however figurative it may be.

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  13. Mike this is so beautifully written and yet so heartbreaking. I can see that lonely hand open and searching. Every line more beautiful than the last. I can’t explain it but I can feel the sadness and anxiety as you hang on to hope on this well planned and much awaited trip. Such a true joy to read your words. I don’t know why but this really got to me:

    “My empty hand
    Holding more of you
    Than my heart could bear”

    I love the explicative language about each place and every treasure missed as you described her absence. What a talent you have dear friend. Thank you Mike for this first-class piece. Love, blessings and hugs always my friend. Joni

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    1. Thanks a bunch, Joni. Once in a lifetime, you find that one person with whom you really connect on the deepest level, and she was that person for me. She used to talk about these faraway places she wanted the two of us to visit, these wild and fantastic locales that seemed magical. Of course, we never were able to visit these places. Real life got in the way. So all I have are the memories of these places I never got to visit with her–places I’ve never been to and never will–and they seem so heavily laden with sorrow. I wanted to write about what it might be like had I traveled to those places and waited for her to arrive, all the fear and doubt and loneliness and pain of separation, where nothing–not even Fuji’s gaze or the norther lights or flower-burst mountain meadows–could assuage the sadness and despair of being alone. I still carry that one last little pebble (figuratively speaking) for her. Call me an unabashed hopeless romantic if you will, but there you have it.

      Thanks for your kind words as always, my friend. Much appreciated. 🙂

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      1. It was so beautifully written from your perspective of waiting for her, still expecting to see her at any minute. Your writing is brilliant. Thank you for writing and sharing more. Always feel free to write me on my email. Blessings and many of us are romantics. I certainly am. 🎁✨🥰 love and hugs Joni.

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  14. Mike this piece is so breathtaking will every stanza. We can feel everything and see through your splendid description what is taking place. One can not help but feel almost like a voyeur. What talent you have and it is always a gift to read your work.

    This is so stunning:

    “The birches and beeches smoldering
    In my heart
    Red-orange-gold leaves
    Suiciding in silent sadness
    Loneliness wearing my face
    Stalks these woods”

    Your stanzas are filled with power and visuals that are outstanding. Thank you so much for sharing your work with us. Sending you hugs, and love, Joni

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    1. Thank you, Joni. Your kindness means more to me than you can ever imagine. I’m so glad to know you found this piece appealing. I thought the suiciding of the fall leaves in her absence was particularly poignant–as though even nature itself could sense the sorrow of the moment. Of course, as I mentioned in previous comments, she and I never got to visit any of these places we talked about. Life had other things planned for us, and all those places now exist solely as “memories of places we never visited,” a strange concept, indeed.

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      1. I cried reading your piece Mike. Love can be so very painful. That line you are referring to is beyond brilliant. You should be also sending out your work to a New York publisher. You are so gifted. That is sad you never got to those places. Mike I still believe that God will send you a person that is deserving of you. That is my prayer. Love you my dear friend. 🦋

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  15. Mike I have tried twice to leave a long comment about your most beautiful work but it does not seem to be working. I am sorry as this touched me so deeply. Perhaps you just are checking your comments as I always do. Sending my love and many hugs.

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    1. Hi, Joni. Just a quick reply here (I’ll reply to the other comments later). About a year ago I had to change my settings to have every comment go into moderation before posting due to getting spammed, so that’s why comments don’t appear immediately anymore. So, rest assured, my friend, that when you leave a comment, it will appear as soon as I check my Comments section in WordPress. 🙂

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  16. Beautiful imagery. I could feel every travel in my own mind. Engaged beyond description and I even re-read it a couple times just to feel the impact. Astounding vocabulary. I love a poem with a sense of longing, just to wonder if we ever get to see a sequel to your inspiration.

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    1. Thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful comment. Indeed, this piece is laden with longing for places and things we never got to experience. Life has a way of taking a wrecking ball to hopes and dreams sometimes and rendering them utterly destroyed, with nothing left but memories of what might have been. I’ve never visited the places mentioned in this poem save for flower-burst mountain meadows in the Rockies (where I live), but I’ve often wondered what might have happened had we been able to make the trips to those exotic locales she talked about, and also wondered about the abject sorrow and loneliness of being in those places without her, hence this poem.

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      1. I often find myself longing for other destinations, much like ones mentioned in your poem. As a sort melancholy way of traveling the world with your loved one. Even in my mind and studies, it always seems like such a nice option? Just a nice thing to do, and the right person to go with. Even if those trips never happened, I think the fantasy brings a sort of warmth to the world. Perhaps an ardent manifestation towards hope. Especially for the one you’re missing. Your vulnerability as a writer is very refreshing, Mike. -Sam

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  17. This is one of the best pieces I’ve read from you Mike. The pain of absence, missed events, solitary memories.. it carved me open to many hidden thoughts my friend. Quality. I love your style. A true gift to hit the right chords in every verse. Thank you for this thoughtfully, gracefully written piece. 💜💙🙏

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    1. Thanks, Nigel. I appreciate your support as always. Plans…hopes and dreams…just waiting for life to blow ’em all up, you know? She’d talk about these places and others she wanted us to visit for romantic getaways and we always said we’d find a way to make it happen someway, someday, but you know how that goes… Someday never comes… So, I wanted to explore what it might feel like to visit these places without her and see just how devastated I’d be, and the poem sort of wrote itself. Life is about shared experiences, shared happiness, shared sorrow, and you can’t share anything with anyone if no one’s there. I wonder if she remembers…

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      1. So true.. I try not to reminisce or go dow the roads of what could’ve been. They’re a dead end for me. And you’re right .can’t share jack with anyone if they’re not present. So sad. But I have my writing. 😒

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    1. Hey, Jeff! Man, it’s good to see you again! I hope life is treating you generously. It’s been a long time, my friend. 🙂

      Thanks for the kind words regarding this piece. I’ve missed reading your sublime poetry. I hope things are good in your corner of the world. I’m sending you a bunch of chilly Colorado cheer for the holidays. Thanks for stopping by. It was a very welcome surprise! 🙂

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    1. Thanks so much, Cindy. I suppose yearning and loss are part and parcel of love, but I wish things had turned out differently. I suppose that just makes me human, eh? I’m so glad you enjoyed this poem. Your support and kindness bring out the very best in everyone, my friend. 🙂

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