Category: Poetry

“I am the Coin that Falls Between the Cracks”

On By Mike U.In Poetry63 Comments

“I am the Coin that Falls Between the Cracks”
(c) 2024 by Michael L. Utley

parts of me have died
that no one will ever know
nor will ever mourn
and why should they
I am just a remnant of myself
writ small among the vagaries of life

I am the coin that falls between the cracks
the sub-aural hum of power lines
the mote-specked silence of barn lofts
the dull glint of galaxies
as seen through rheumic eyes
I am the shadow
in the corner
of my cold
listless
mind

amid the howl of eternity
there are worlds upon worlds
fractal multiverses strewn
with thoughtless hubris
across heaven’s filthy floor
the dice of fate, kismet’s craps
as reckless gods play
with the lives of men
and alabaster-eyed
sentinels gaze blankly
distant and aloof
into the cackling abyss

once, beneath a leaden sky
a sweltering path led me
through shag-barked copses
and desiccated thickets
to an obscure clearing
and there
in midday gloaming
a spring appeared
and I knelt at water’s edge
seeking desperately
for my reflection
proof of my existence
which eluded me
upon the stagnant rancid
larval-glutted surface
I sought to see my soul
but instead espied
the foul machinations
of a craven universe
amid pond scum
and the stench of reality
and as I fled in horror
the pealing laughter
of amused gods
rent the sky

there are sink-holes in my soul
where I’ve lost myself
along the way
suffocating in tenebrosity
the detritus of shame
trailing behind me
marking my path
from tepid light
to torpid darkness
from inutile hope
to abject despair
the inconsequential
bric-a-brac of
22,000 days
fallen from the cabinets
of my heart
shattered shards
of worthless memories
my mind
a stuttering dynamo
choking on its own fumes

I
have lost
myself in
this desert of
alkali flats and
creosote bushes that
leech all moisture from my eyes
rendering tears unfeasible
seeking shelter from this thoughtless sun
and the mindlessness of my existence

take my hand
if you dare
and I shall show you
a broken soul
a half-hearted man
a mind in free-fall
a dumb dying animal
too cowardly to drop
to the dust and merge
with oblivion
a leprous life
in exile among
incurious stars
shunned by
callous sun
and careless moon
and exhausted
beyond measure
a half-life
every atom radiating
a numbness of spirit

my lost soul slides
languidly
toward
day’s end

and when my somber sun sets
none shall be the wiser

“Grandfather” published at Gobblers & Masticadores

On By Mike U.In Poetry47 Comments

Hey, folks. I’d like to announce my three-part poem “Grandfather”  has gone live at Gobblers & Masticadores. Many thanks to Juan Re Crivello and Manuela Timofte and their staff for this opportunity. I’m truly grateful. Thank you, Juan and Manuela!

“Grandfather”
© 2012 by Michael L. Utley

“The twitching thing that lay upon the bed
Was not my grandfather. It wore his face
And smelled of him, old coffee and a trace
Of cigarettes. Its eyes were rimmed with red
And rheumy and they twinkled in its head
Like distant dying stars. And in that place
Deep down inside where man and mind embrace
My grandfather had lost his mind and fled…”

You can read the rest of my poem by clicking this link. Also, don’t forget to follow and subscribe to Gobblers & Masticadores, where you’ll find some wonderful writing and plenty of food for thought.

“The Snow That Never Falls” published at Chewers & Masticadores

On By Mike U.In Poetry40 Comments

I’m excited to announce my poem “The Snow That Never Falls” has been published at Chewers & Masticadores. Sincere thanks to Juan Re Crivello and Nolcha Fox and their team for this opportunity. It’s always an honor to share my work at Chewers & Masticadores. Thank you, Juan and Nolcha!

“The Snow That Never Falls”
(c) 2021 by Michael L. Utley

“The snow that never falls cannot assuage
The sorrow of the autumn’s grim defeat
There is no balm
For open wounds
No gilded cup
To slake the dying season’s thirst
No whispered words to quell the fear
Of failing heart
Forsaken soul
Abandoned hope
There is no honor in autumn’s demise
In absence of the snow that never falls…”

I’d be delighted if you’d read the rest of my poem by clicking this link. Also, be sure to follow and subscribe to Chewers & Masticadores. It’s a wonderful place for those who love writing.

“Eleven Days” published at Gobblers & Masticadores

On By Mike U.In Poetry24 Comments

I’m delighted to announce my poem “Eleven Days” has gone live at Gobblers & Masticadores. Sincere thanks to Juan Re Crivello and Manuela Timofte and their staff for this chance to share my poetry with their readers. I’m truly grateful. Thank you, Juan and Manuela!

“Eleven Days”
(c) 2021 by Michael L. Utley

“The wind blows
Those shadows deeper
Into gloaming recesses
Of pine corridors
As aspens
Denuded and shamed
By autumn’s fickle fury
Huddle shivering
In dim dusk

In my heart
Those eleven days
Of silence tore me apart…”

You can read the rest of my poem by clicking this link. Also, don’t forget to follow and subscribe to Gobblers & Masticadores, where you’ll find some wonderful writing and plenty of food for thought.

“When Ivory Kiku Bloom”

On By Mike U.In Poetry39 Comments

“When Ivory Kiku Bloom”
(c) 2024 by Michael L. Utley

it’s my hope in time to come
when ivory kiku bloom
you’ll remember me
as I remember you

those days so long ago
in absence of joy
fraught with fear and agony
you gazed into the abyss

what did you see in the din
and darkness of depression
what peered back at you
shattered your very soul

in this winter tempest
golden suisen
hides its glowing countenance
waiting for the storm to pass

yet its radiance lives on
deep beneath the blowing snow
its beauty obscured
dimmed for but a moment

I saw your light shining
through your blackest night
with the brilliance of the sun
rising moon’s intensity

in your sorrow you were blind
you saw neither light nor love
nor could you believe
your heart was still alive

thus you mourned a life lost
buried your own soul
oblivion’s rueful loam
brings forth its bitter harvest

in my heart there lies a tomb
wreathed in ivory kiku
every day I pause
to offer my respects

every day I mourn for
what could never be
place my heart upon the shroud
of these fading memories

it’s my hope in time to come
when ivory kiku bloom
you’ll have found your peace
for I’ll remember you

“Snap-beans in a Wooden Bowl”

On By Mike U.In Poetry29 Comments

(originally published at Masticadores Philippines, 3/23/2024)

“Snap-beans in a Wooden Bowl”
(c) 2024 by Michael L. Utley

snap-beans
in a wooden bowl
and tears
on her cheeks
my mother’s sorrow
exorcised by
the rite of
working hands
the ritual of
silent contemplation
as evening sun
gilded her world
in holy ephemera
her safe place
ensconced
in her own
sacred light
her garden
her universe

the weeds she hoed
during languid summer days
of sun-burned neck
and aching back
how many belonged to her
how many the memories
of fear and violence
in desperate need of
eradication
her rough ancient hoe
her crucifix
against
my father’s rage
her blisters
turned to calluses
turned to armor
her fingers bent
with age and arthritis
yet strong enough
to hold herself
together
day by day
to contain
the tears the anger the horror

corn silk
her hair was corn silk
as she merged with
row upon row
of papery whispering stalks
her naked feet
rooting into earth
deeply
deeply
where her spirit lived
safe in cool moist soil
a fertile loam
a secret energy
regenerating her
scarred soul daily
only to be
shattered nightly
the cycle of the seasons
her heart always
an autumn heart
forever offering harvest
to all, then burned
to the ground
without a thought
as my father’s
winter approached

I passed her one evening
as she sat snapping beans
in a wooden bowl
her bare feet beagle-draped
farm cats lurking amid
squash blossoms
the westering sun
haloing her tired face
and she gazed at
the distant horizon
staring at the empty world
a faraway smile
nearly touching her eyes
as a tear fell
among broken beans
in her lap
and she looked at me then
and her smile was terrible
an anguish
I’d never seen before
and I knew
that she knew
there was nothing
either of us could do

“My Jade Remembrance” published at Gobblers & Masticadores

On By Mike U.In Poetry47 Comments

Hi, folks. I’m pleased to announce my poem “My Jade Remembrance” has gone live at Gobblers & Masticadores. Many thanks to Juan Re Crivello and Manuela Timofte and their staff for this chance to share my poetry with their readers. It’s always an honor and I’m truly grateful. Thank you, Juan and Manuela!

“My Jade Remembrance”
(c) 2019 by Michael L. Utley

“I used to know you
9,000 tears ago
A tear for every mile
That kept me from you
A tear for every moment
Not spent with you
A tear for every hope
Not shared with you
9,000 tears…”

You can read the rest of my poem by clicking this link. Also, don’t forget to follow and subscribe to Gobblers & Masticadores, where you’ll find some wonderful writing and plenty of food for thought.

“Snap-beans in a Wooden Bowl” published at Masticadores Philippines

On By Mike U.In Poetry54 Comments

I’m pleased to announce my poem “Snap-beans in a Wooden Bowl” has gone live at Masticadores Philippines. Many thanks to Michelle Ayon Navajas and Norj Joseph and their staff for this opportunity to share my poetry with their readers. I’m deeply honored and most truly grateful. Thanks so much, Michelle and Norj.

This poem was written for the #whattheydontsee project, an initiative for writers to share poetry and prose that delves into the pain we all hide, the sorrow, anger and fear we do our best to keep buried. I’m indebted to Michelle and Norj for allowing me to share this poem about my late mother.

“Snap-beans in a Wooden Bowl”
(c) 2024 by Michael L. Utley

“snap-beans
in a wooden bowl
and tears
on her cheeks
my mother’s sorrow
exorcised by
the rite of
working hands
the ritual of
silent contemplation
as evening sun
gilded her world
in holy ephemera
her safe place
ensconced
in her own
sacred light
her garden
her universe…”

You can read the rest of my poem by clicking this link. Also, please consider following and subscribing to Masticadores Philippines, where compelling and creative story-telling and poetry await.

“Still I Toil On”

On By Mike U.In Poetry51 Comments

“Still I Toil On”
(c) 2024 by Michael L. Utley

my old hoe is dull
and the weeds
resist its blade
still I toil on
iron sharpens iron
rust begets rust
the crucible of life
makes or breaks
which shall I choose
do I even have a choice

my garden’s neglect
pains my soul
its hardened soil
thirsts for more
than rain
too many weeds
too few blooms
a loathsome facsimile
of the worst of me

these hands
cracked and dirty
beset by age
and the scars
of a futile life
once strong enough
to break the earth
shatter stone
yet tender still
to caress the lotus
dry the tears
of my beloved
these calloused hands
empty now
save for the
piercing splinters
and burning blisters
of stillborn harvests
and sundered dreams

once, long ago
across the stream
my young man’s eyes
beheld the youthful willow
nubile and lithesome
her slender feet
glissading upon
the cool water
sinuous fronds
breeze-blown
her sultry-shy gaze
beckoning me
offering respite
from noonday sun
and I watched from afar
as egret and kitsune
nestled in her shadows
and I yearned for her
but my garden
needed tilling
my hoe dull even then
my back bent
from years of struggle
my heart distracted
by worries of harvests
yet to be
and in my hesitation
she turned away
and all was lost

cicadas drone
in the bamboo grove
their maddening chorus
a condemnation
their brief lives
leave little time
for memories
but plenty
for judgment
their desiccated husks
reminding me
of life’s brevity
all I’ve lost
all I needlessly
carry with me

it has been too long
since the rains fell
too long since the wind
cooled my brow
too long since
my soul slept
too long have I
gripped this
infernal device
my entire existence
rooted in this
garden of regrets
I have become
the very weed
I wish to slay

still I toil on
for there is naught left
but to toil
until my blade breaks
or the harvester’s scythe
takes me away

“Ripples” published at Gobblers & Masticadores

On By Mike U.In Poetry47 Comments

Hello, everyone. I’m happy to announce my poem “Ripples” has gone live at Gobblers & Masticadores. Sincere thanks to Juan Re Crivello and Manuela Timofte and their staff for this opportunity to share my poetry with their loyal readers. I’m honored and truly grateful. Thanks so much, Juan and Manuela!

“Ripples”
(c) 2017 by Michael L. Utley

“There are no ripples
On this frozen pond
The puk-puk-puk of
The pebble
Skittering on iced skin
Dampened by
Frost-thick air
Breath caught short
In lung-numbed gasps
Silent words
Suspended
In wintry sighs
Eyes pools of
Frigid tear-prisms
Bitter empty gelid rainbows
Where are you…”

You can read the rest of my poem by clicking this link. Also, don’t forget to follow and subscribe to Gobblers & Masticadores, where you’ll find some wonderful writing and plenty of food for thought.