“From Tsukiko, While Watching the Moon”

“From Tsukiko, While Watching the Moon”
© 2025 by Michael L. Utley

I have waited long enough
among midnight forests
and somnolent bamboo groves
the furtive whispers
of pensive yurei
a forlorn supplication
to dissolve further
into the rayless world
of lost souls
to seek the sleep
of bōkyaku

cloistered among
susurrating reeds
I bathe my feet
in Sanzu’s nocturnal tears
adorned in fragrant
willow shadows
as koi drowse
in the depths of dreams
and kitsune slink
clandestinely
their night-thoughts
unfathomable

the red footbridge
dun and sullen
in this half-light
recedes into nothingness
an abandoned relic
leading to nowhere
its purpose forgotten
another ghost in this
world of ghosts

beyond the bridge
emptiness

somewhere out there
lies a buried memory
the bones of a life
once lived
once lost
forever regretted
a recollection unknown to all
but mindless breeze
and insentient earth

above
insensate stars spin
upon eternal axes
their astral trajectories
a testament to futility
their presence neither
proof nor denial
of divinity
alignment
retrogradation
degradation
collapse
blackness
silence
eternity in the
blink of an eye

oh, but you, arrogant moon
gōman’na tsuki
skulking through the trees
your cold light casting you
as villainous
your spectral aria
a surreptitious siren-song
I must resist
oh, moon
your dubious countenance
burned into my soul
your serrated sickle’s
jagged tracks still scarred
across my pallid wrists

you don’t know me, moon
in your hubris
you assume all things
in your haughtiness
you presume to decide
the fates of men
your judgments
surpassing Enma’s
in their brackish cruelty
your domain the darkness
and all who dwell within
you of many faces
and the tongues of serpents
beguiler of hearts and minds
you don’t know me, moon

but I know you

you named me Tsukiko
birthed me in
the gloom of obscurity
flung me upon Fuji’s flanks
and fled
moon-child
daughter of Tsuki
I have watched you
all my life
from afar I contemplated
your shifting phases
your covert risings and fallings
your feckless betrayals
your eldritch gleam

and I waited
for acknowledgment
for recognition
for the simple pleasure
of moon-dapples
on lotus ponds
and still I wait

you don’t know me, moon
and you never shall
for now I embrace my fate
and begin my journey
into the tenebrous aether
of oblivion
no more shall I hope
for that which you cannot give
no more shall my tears
blind me to the truth
no more shall my dead heart
ache from your rejection

I am Tsukiko no more

“A Few Haiku & Senryu (62)”

© 2024 by Michael L. Utley

(#367)

river stone cairn
serenity in chaos
as life flows past

…..

(#368)

deathbed
her soul cleansed by
early morning rain

…..

(#369)

in my stillness
I become the mountain
winter squall

…..

(#370)

oneness with nothingness
this world can no longer
touch me

…..

(#371)

my silent world
sound dies
and I die with it

…..

(#372)

my essence diffused
I’m no longer here nor there
a crow’s cry

“A Few Haiku & Senryu (61)”

(c) 2024 by Michael L. Utley

(#361)

November stubble
she tills the field
of memories

…..

(#362)

sorrow’s journey
drifting on the breeze
a sparrow’s plume

…..

(#363)

her sundered smile
picking up the pieces
of my heart

…..

(#364)

seeds of yesterdays
watered by the tears of years
memory garden

…..

(#365)

stream ice cracks
beneath the red footbridge
the hush of rushes

…..

(#366)

dip my bones in blood
etch my life across the stars
a soul’s journey

My poem “Wisdom” featured at Myths of the Mirror Blog

Hi, folks. Diana Wallace Peach, the estimable and wonderfully gracious author at Myths of the Mirror blog, was generous enough to feature my poem “Wisdom” on her site today. It’s such an honor for me, and my gratitude is off the charts. Her blog post also reveals a few more details about her upcoming novel Tale of the Seasons’ Weaver, due to release early next year. Diana is a master of the fantasy genre and her novels are both sweeping in scope and breath-taking in nature. I hope you’ll drop by her blog and check it out. Also, it would be difficult to find anyone as supportive and encouraging as Diana. To me, she encompasses the very heart and soul of creativity and kindness, and her energy and enthusiasm are contagious. Do check out her blog and her library of novels, will you?

Thanks so much, Diana!

“Wisdom”

“Wisdom”
(c) 2024 by Michael L. Utley

I attain wisdom
not from church or pagoda
temple or tabernacle
but from wood and stream
respite achieved through contemplation
of cloud reflections on cobalt alpine tarns
hammocked among granite crags and tors
restoration gifted by toes-in-sand
scamperings on dayspring sea shores
as gulls cavort and sand pipers tempt fate
balance granted by spinning constellations
as Luna tends her silver star-gardens
and earth dreams its pensive dreams

there is wonder
in the fractal crevasses of konara bark
the labyrinths of sandstone lichen mandalas
the ethereal traceries of ghostly hanging moss
promise in each acorn in every copse
as elder oaks impart their ken of centuries
and guard arboreal nurseries with burly boughs
conversation in breeze communiques
thunder rumblings and rain chatter
as heaven above bends earth’s ear
humor in toad-trills and reed whispers
the coquettish giggles of creek cascades
the curious musical burlesque of insects

there is hope
in sudden sunshine after a desert deluge
gilded god-beam-burnished cliff and canyon
arch and hoodoo ablaze with magic-hour fire
solace in quiet tide pools and silent autumn leas
the compassionate chants of mourning doves
the cusp-of-dawn stillness as the universe holds its breath
encouragement in emergent golden winter suisen
evening double-rainbows over August wheat fields
the strident arias of sparrow, lark and finch
renewal in gamboling days-old winter calves
early springtime rills’ first ice-melt
the preening petals of young columbines

but most of all
there is kinship
among everything that lives
all who call Earth home
sea, land and sky
and all who dwell therein
we belong together
not as masters of all
but companions to all
not as kings but stewards
fellow travelers on life’s journey
through glen and hollow
from peak to shore
sharing a common path
let us revitalize our love
for all things
let us return to
our proper place
let us embrace who we are
and why we are here
for that is the first step
toward true wisdom

(originally published at Spillwords Press, July 2024)

“Common Collared Lizard”

Common Collared Lizard, Hovenweep National Monument, SW Colorado (c) Mike Utley

Hovenweep National Monument is located on a swath of land on Cajon Mesa in the Great Sage Plain that straddles the border of southwest Colorado and southeast Utah less than an hour from where I live. It’s widely known for hosting six extraordinary groups of Ancestral Puebloan villages and a kiva, as well as displaying signs of hunter-gatherers from 8,000-6,000 B.C. through 200 A.D. (Info provided by Wikipedia)

On this day in the early 2000s, I set out to photograph the sandstone towers and other structures, many of which were in surprisingly good condition. The day was clear and hot, and as I hiked from the parking area toward the ruins, I was eager to see the place for the first time and make some images to add to my portfolio.

Alas, nature has a weird fickle streak which makes her unpredictable, and about a half-hour into my hike a sandstorm appeared and intensified with surprising alacrity. I managed to photograph one cylindrical tower amid blowing sand, then jammed my camera inside my shirt to protect it from sand and grit and hoofed it back toward the parking area to wait out the sandstorm in my truck.

On the trail not far from the parking lot, I stumbled across this little guy near a small juniper and some sage brush on the dirt trail. I’d never seen this species of lizard in the wild before, and was unaware of its name. At around ten inches in length, it was larger than the majority of lizards in my area, and its brilliant coloring was fascinating. So, I stopped and set about trying to get some shots of this fellow.

The sandstorm was still blowing dust and grit as I hunkered down to get a decent angle with my 75-300mm lens. The lizard was active, darting about, seeming to run laps around me. It was obviously acclimated to humans, at least to a degree, and it hung around the T-intersection of the trail, flitting about as though it were playing tag with me. After about twenty minutes of stalking this guy amid rapidly changing lighting conditions and several “oohs” and “ahhs” from passers-by, I finally managed to make a couple of images.

The first image here has better composition than the second, while the lighting in the second image is more dynamic than the first. I rarely photographed animals during my nature photography period of 1995-2003 for a couple of reasons. First, as much as I love animals, I prefer landscape photography—I was always very methodical and meticulous in my approach to photography and that meant taking my time to evaluate the scene and make compositional decisions, something that’s more difficult to do when attempting to capture moving animals on film. Second, I simply never had the proper gear to photograph wildlife. Big heavy, fast, expensive lenses are part of a wildlife photographer’s arsenal. I couldn’t afford to spend thousands of dollars on a 300mm f/2.8 lens for wildlife images, and my 75-300mm f/4.0-5.6 zoom wasn’t ideal for subjects in constant motion. Photographing a mountain vista doesn’t require super-fast shutter speeds to freeze the action; photographing a common collared lizard who appears to be on a jittery caffeine-high is a different matter altogether. I was glad to get these two images, and later I checked my field guide to properly identify the species.

Common Collared Lizard, Hovenweep National Monument, SW Colorado (c) Mike Utley

This was more than twenty years ago, and I’ve never seen another common collared lizard. A bit of serendipity, I suppose—I set out to photograph ancient ruins and ended up with lizard images instead. You never know what nature has in store for you. (Canon gear, Fuji Velvia ISO 50)

“Scarlet Gilia & Sage Brush”

Scarlet Gilia & Sage Brush, SE Utah (c) Mike Utley

Growing up in the pre-internet era, many folks were subjected to erroneous information that passed its way down through the generations. A quick and convenient Google search wasn’t a thing back then, and unless one had access to a public library or a bookshelf full of encyclopedias, one really had no way of verifying the veracity of that which was told to us by our elders.

This photo featuring scarlet gilia and sage brush is a case in point. For many years, I was told by my mom and her parents at the farm that this flower was honeysuckle. You pluck the blossom from the stem and drink of its nectar, so sure, honeysuckle it must be. Except…it’s not. When I became involved in nature photography in 1995, I bought a guide book for North American plants so I could properly identify what I was photographing. There were clues all along that the info I was receiving from my mom and grandparents was a bit off. They called orange globe mallow flowers “Cheez-Its,” for example, after the tangy cheese cracker, and even as a kid I knew this wasn’t correct. There was no malice involved in these misnomers, of course, just incorrect hand-me-down names for things that were otherwise unidentifiable to folks back then.

I came across this little scene one day in 2014 while on a walk at the farm. I hadn’t done any serious photography for years by that point, although I’d occasionally take my little Canon PowerShot digital camera with me just in case I saw something worth photographing. I had my tripod with me that day, and I composed this image, then went on my way. It wasn’t until I got back to the house and uploaded the image that I realized I had a keeper.

My philosophy with regards to flower photography has always been to shoot in overcast lighting or open shade (tree shadows, etc.) and to avoid bright sunlight. The reason for this is bright sunlight creates harsh, contrasting shadows and tends to bleach-out flower colors, creating an unflattering image, while overcast lighting results in saturated flower colors with even lighting and no shadows for a brilliant color palette. And this philosophy generally holds true. However, there are exceptions, as was the case here. The sun was in a position where it created virtually no annoying shadows in the scene, and the pale-green neutral background of sage served to make the red of the scarlet gilia really pop. This scene, if photographed in overcast conditions, would have been equally acceptable, but the emotional impact would have been completely different. The image below demonstrates the overcast lighting technique for flower photography and how it produces even lighting, no shadows and a vibrant color palette.

Rocky Mountain Columbine, Abajo Mt., SE Utah (c) Mike Utley

Although I informed my mom of the real names of these and other flowers and plants, she continued to use the names she’d been taught as a child, and that was okay, I suppose. I always found it endearing, anyway. (Canon gear)

“Tree & Boulders at Sunset”

Tree & Boulders at Sunset, Lisbon Valley, SE Utah (c) Mike Utley

Lisbon Valley is a rather nondescript region in southeast Utah about an hour from the farm on which I was raised, not far from Canyonlands and Arches National Parks. There are no bottomless canyons cutting across the landscape here, no fragile arches standing sentinel over the sage and pinyon and juniper. It’s an out-of-the-way, forgotten place used mainly by ranchers for cattle grazing, and desecrated by a sprawling copper mine. However, it’s an area of special note to me and I spent many afternoons and evenings photographing this place before the copper mine brought its ugly open pit, pollution and truck traffic and destroyed its natural beauty.

This image from the late 1990s is what I call an intimate landscape. It focuses not on grand vistas, but rather a smaller, secluded view, one within arm’s reach. I was fascinated by the contrast between the two adjacent boulders in the foreground, how the doughiness of one appears so starkly different from the smooth, lichen-encrusted texture of the other—an almost surreal juxtaposition. The evening light was a glorious salmon hue with a delicate intensity, a softness often found in desert sunsets.

The thing about these unremarkable locales is that very few people, if any, have ever set foot in much of these areas. People flock to Canyonlands and Arches National Parks for good reason, of course—to be mind-blown by the outrageous showmanship of nature’s rugged chisel and brush, and never even notice these lesser-known places where desert life plays out in secret and beauty on a different scale is on hidden display. I left many footprints in the sands of Lisbon Valley over the years, and always considered it one of my favorite areas for intimate landscapes amid the silence of the stones and the pungent aroma of sage, junper and pinyon. It’s been many years since I last visisted this place, and I fear it’s likely unrecognizable now. My memories live on in my photographs, and they will last forever. (Canon gear, Fuji Velvia ISO 50)

“South Falls”

South Falls, Silver Falls State Park, Oregon (c) Mike Utley

Silver Falls State Park is located about 20 miles outside of Salem, Oregon and hosts several falls along the 7.2-mile Trail of Ten Falls. It’s a primordial place, shrouded in mist much of the time, still and quiet save for the whisperings of breezes in trees and the roar of falls when the trail weaves its way near one. South Falls is the park’s most iconic fall at 177 feet, and the nearest to the parking area. The hiking trail winds along the cliffside behind the fall and above the dark pool below. Although I always disliked any signs of humans or human activity in my nature photography, in this case the trail (and at least one person visible on it) serves to provide a sense of scale.

My first visit to Silver Falls State Park in early October 1995 yielded this image (among a few others). The size of the fall was impressive; navigating the trail behind the fall was thrilling (and a little damp) and offered a unique perspective. Oregon has more than 238 waterfalls (and more than 1,000, according to the Northwest Waterfalls Survey), and every one I visited during my all-too-brief time in Oregon was fascinating, from the specatcular fairytale setting of Multnomah Falls along I-84 on the Columbia River Gorge to the little six-foot cascasde I photogrraphed on this very trail shortly after making the above image of South Falls (see below).

Small Cascasde on Hillside, Silver Falls State Park, Oregon (c) Mike Utley

These two images were made just before the rainy season began, when the foliage was still predominantly green and skies were blue. Once the rain comes in Oregon’s autumn, it becomes a fixture throughout the fall, winter and spring. A comparison shot of South Falls below shows the same fall from an almost identical perspective on January 1, 1996 after a heavy rain.

South Falls After Heavy Rains, Silver Falls State Park, Oregon (c) Mike Utley

My time in Oregon was far too short. I came back to Utah in January 1996, always planning on returning to Oregon, dreaming of further explorations and adventures in what I consider the most beautiful state I’ve ever visited. Alas, not all dreams come true, and I’ve never made it back to Oregon. I miss the ocean, the mountains, the forests and the waterfalls. I’m landlocked now, here in southwest Colorado, no longer able to drive due medical issues with my legs, and can no longer explore nature with my camera. It’s a sore loss, indeed, but at least I have my old images to serve as reminders of the joy I experienced back then when I could roam the mountains and deserts and forests and coastlines and commune with nature. (Canon gear, Fuji Velvia ISO 50)

“I Can Hear the Water Cry”

“I Can Hear the Water Cry”
(c) 2024 by Michael L. Utley

misty river bank
I can hear the water cry
through its mournful veil

from whence your tears
my friend
from whence your sorrow
the stream of life
long and arduous
promises nothing
takes wantonly
yet gives freely
drowns dreams
yet slakes hope’s thirst
erodes time
yet blesses leas
with hue and humor

I have bathed my feet
in your cool waters
drunk from cupped hands
of your living essence
and watched
as villages flood
and crops perish
your fickle nature
both boon and bane
the rage of winter’s run-off
the futility of summer’s drought
the chaos of confusion
the trauma of neglect

regrets eddy
among the reeds
koi doze in shadow-torpor
levitating dragonflies iridesce
oblivious to your siren-song
your current inexorable
immutable
fate’s dynamo

what of your sadness
what fears drive you
what memories haunt
your hidden heart
speak to me, friend
share your burden
help me understand
your tears

there is purity
in kindness
absolution in love
such a pity
a solitary meadow’s stream
a rill of life
darkened by despair

I see you, stream
I hear your halting whisperings
I smell your vital fragrance
I feel your urgent motion
I sense your profound depth
you are not alone
my friend
the mountain cradles you
the forest shades you
the flowers dance
to your melody
let the sun gild your surface
let the moon caress you
let your heart be
unencumbered
flow, my friend
just flow

and all
will be forgiven