“An Introduction”

Hello, and welcome to my blog. My name’s Mike and I’m currently struggling to navigate the confusion, frustration and isolation I experience daily as I travel along my deaf journey.

I have severe hearing loss in both ears caused by meningitis as a teen, and its progressive nature has impacted my life in both pedestrian and dramatic fashion. Although my deafness has been a constant companion for 40 years, I have never come to grips with it; it’s a tenuous relationship with an unwelcome guest who will never leave and whose insidious nature has infiltrated all areas of my life.

Yeah, you could say I hate being deaf. Hence this blog.

This is my attempt to reach out from my isolation to see if there are others like me who are deaf and feeling shunned or who have become reclusive due to deafness, not knowing sign language or other deaf people, and who have essentially fallen by the wayside as life passes them by. I hope to write about my experiences as a functionally deaf person in a hearing world, the struggle to survive as a disabled person in a world where the disabled are generally ignored or deliberately scorned, and the coping mechanisms I’ve developed over the years to try to stay afloat in a rural area where I have no deaf friends or acquaintances and very little in terms of deaf support services.

Despite all of this, my deafness does not define who I am as a person—it is only part of who I am. In my story, deafness is only one of the characters in a cast of many. Finally coming to accept my deafness is my goal; perhaps learning to co-exist with—or even embrace—my deafness is my only chance of finding peace in my life. I hope to hear from others who may be in similar situations. Discovering we’re not alone could be the breakthrough we need to live better, more fulfilling lives.

14 thoughts on ““An Introduction”

    1. Thanks, Juliette. I’m humbled by your kind words. I must say I’ve been enjoying your blog as well and I look forward to exploring more of your wonderful writing. Thanks for stopping by and leaving such a nice comment. It means a lot to me. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I like the way you said the deafness does not define the person you are, such a positive word that is. Deafness honestly does not define you, you are way beyond a better person than most who can hear, I am really thrilled you started this blog now we are all blessed with your beautiful words and a magnificent collection of photography. ✨

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Many thanks, Daphny. I’m still working on accepting myself as a deaf person (it’s really difficult) but there’s no fixing my deafness, and no one is to blame for it, not even me. It just happened. I’m so accustomed to it now after all these years, but I still fight against it in vain, as if somehow I could change it. Peace comes with acceptance, and I’m not quite there yet. My blog was my attempt to reach out and talk about it, to try to connect with people both deaf and hearing, and to raise awareness of what it’s like to be a deaf person stuck between the deaf and hearing worlds. I’m so glad I took that leap and decided to create this blog. I’ve come across some amazing people from all over the world, and I’m so grateful for the kindness I’ve been shown so far. Words are powerful; words can comfort and heal and assuage fears and bring peace. I truly appreciate your support and encouragement, and I’m so happy you enjoy my words and images. Thanks so much for your kindness. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am glad you took that leap and yes it always a challenge to accept ourselves but the good thing is you didn’t give up and I can’t help but admire your courage. You’re most welcome Mike. 🙂✨

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi, rajkkhoja. I decided on the name “Silent Pariah” for my blog for a couple of reasons. First, I’m deaf, and while I can still hear some sounds, my world is silent for the most part. I have tremendous difficulty understanding speech, so I avoid interacting with people if I can (I lip-read, but lip-reading is highly unreliable, and impossible during a pandemic when everyone is wearing a mask). So, not only is my environment mostly silent due to my deafness, I also don’t speak much, so I’m silent as well, and am quite reclusive.

      Second, a pariah is an outcast, and I’ve felt like an outcast all my life. I grew up in Utah, a state dominated by one religion, and I am not a member of that religion, so it was made clear to me early in my life that I was never going to fit in there, no matter if it was school or jobs or friendships or relationships. There was a lot of religious discrimination there, and I don’t have many good memories of that period. Also, being deaf in a hearing world has rendered me an outcast as well. I’m too deaf to fit in with the hearing world, but not deaf enough to fit in with the Deaf world. I don’t know sign language, nor do I know any other deaf people. So, I feel stuck between both worlds, an outsider looking in, and not fitting in anywhere. I’m an outcast again.

      I figured the name “Silent Pariah” had a nice ring to it and described my life perfectly. My hope for my blog was to meet other deaf people, but that hasn’t happened. However, I’ve met some wonderful people here on WordPress who have been so kind and supportive and friendly (like you!), and my deafness doesn’t come into play on my blog since everything is written down rather than spoken. I have a few essays in the Essays section of my blog that describe my feelings of being an outcast and my experiences as a deaf person, and I’ve touched on it briefly in my poetry here.

      So, there you have it—a silent pariah reaching out to the world to make a human connection. Thanks so much for asking about this. I appreciate your interest and kindness. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. rajkkhoja

        Thank you so much. I have no any words what , I write you. I unhappy you can’t hearing. You are brave & strong women. God blessing!
        Iam so sorry!
        I can read your reply it’s very hard but some I understand your words. My English is very poor! I hope you understand my wrods. Thanks !

        Liked by 1 person

      2. No worries–I understand, and your English is very good! I do my best with the struggles I face, and I try to help others understand what it’s like to be deaf. Your kind words are very much appreciated! Thanks so much! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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