“Service Dogs, Rabbit Hutches and ASL Humiliation: My Introduction to Deaf Culture” published at Gobblers & Masticadores

On By Mike U.In Essays

Hey, folks. I’m excited to let you know that a series of essays I’ve written about my experience as a deaf guy in a hearing world is being published at Gobblers & Masticadores, and the second in the series has gone live today. Many thanks to Juan Re Crivello for this opportunity to share my experiences with his readers. Today’s essay is “Service Dogs, Rabbit Hutches and ASL Humiliation: My Introduction to Deaf Culture ” and you can read it by following this link:

“Service Dogs, Rabbit Hutches and ASL Humiliation: My Introduction to Deaf Culture” at Gobblers & Masticadores

It’s my hope that sharing my life as a deaf person will raise awareness of this “invisible disability” and the impact it has on those of us with hearing loss, and perhaps enlighten those with normal hearing in order to bridge the gap between us. I hope you enjoy it.

Once again, much gratitude to Juan Re Crivello for his kindness and generosity. It’s truly an honor for me.

Don’t forget to follow and subscribe to Gobblers & Masticadores, where you’ll find some wonderful writing and plenty of food for thought.

30 thoughts on ““Service Dogs, Rabbit Hutches and ASL Humiliation: My Introduction to Deaf Culture” published at Gobblers & Masticadores”

  1. Congratulations with the publication of your essay dear Mike, highlighting such an important aspect of where things can go wrong when support isn’t tailored to the needs of an individual and the lack of available help in rural communities. I hope you will be able to find the help you need and sharing your story this way may help other people too 🧡✍

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    1. Kindest thanks, Xenia, for this thoughtful comment. As much as I love living in a rural area, one major drawback is a lack of much-needed services for disabled people. The town in which I live has about 8,000 people and there’s nothing in terms of deaf support here (not even sign-language classes). A neighboring town about an hour away has a cochlear implant support group, and I attended one meeting in 2016 shortly before being tested to see if I could be a candidate for an implant, and I had to drive nearly 400 miles to Denver, Colorado for those tests (only to be told there was no way to tell if one would help as I’d been deaf for so long). There’s a deaf support group in a bigger town about three and a half hours away, but that’s too far (and I’m unable to drive now due to leg and feet numbness). So, yes, it’s difficult to find any sort of assistance or community in my area. I’d have to move to a big city to find anything, and that’s unlikely to happen. My original plan for this blog was to write essays on my deaf experiences and hope to connect with other deaf people, but that hasn’t happened. I know there are other deaf folks out there who are probably as socially isolated as I am, but I haven’t been able to locate any, not even through my blog. I’m still working on coming to terms with my deafness (after 41 years of dealing with it–I’m a slow learner, I reckon), and that’s really the only solution I can see: fully accepting my deafness and overcoming my frustration and somehow mending my self-image. I’m not sure that will ever happen, but it’s my goal, in the absence of any other form of support aimed specifically at deaf people.

      Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment. It’s always a delight to have you stop by, my friend. Please tell Misty hello for me. 🙂

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      1. You’re very welcome dear Mike and it looks as if online connections and support might be more helpful. I don’t whether the Independence Center has useful links for you or whether ALDA (Association of Late-Deafened Adults, Colorado) has a chapter near you. In terms of connecting with other deaf poets and potential new friends online, it may be useful to look for online community groups or forums where you link your blog posts to, in order to reach the people you would like to connect with through your writing. Wishing you luck with this and much love back from Misty and me 🐾💛🐾

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    2. Thanks so much for the info, Xenia. I ran a search for ALDA groups/chapters and there’s one in Colorado, but it’s in Boulder, north of Denver, and its 392 miles away. There’s the Colorado Commission for Deaf, Hard of Hearing and Deaf-Blind (CCDHHDB) in Denver and I’ve been in contact with them before, but their services are mainly accessible only to those who live in the Denver area (they have a Facebook page, but alas, I don’t). There’s also the Colorado Association for the Deaf in Denver. I was involved with the Southwest Center for Independence as a client here in Cortez, CO where I live, but that group doesn’t offer anything tailored specifically to deaf people (they were helpful in other areas, though). I think your idea of checking out specific Deaf websites is the obvious choice, and one I’ve sort of avoided up until now due to my past experience with Deaf culture. It may be worth a try to cast a line out that way and see what happens. I’m sure there are other people like me out there, hiding away from the world due to deafness and social isolation.

      Thanks again for your kindness in checking around about this. You’re a wonderful friend, Xenia. 🙂

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      1. You’re very welcome dear Mike and Axis Integrated Healthcare in Cortez may have some useful information and contact details for you too. As I was scrolling for things in your neighbourhood, Misty pointed her nose at Good Sam’s Food Pantry in Cortez, who are currently looking for volunteers who can spare a couple of hours a week. They are looking for all kinds of support roles, including people who can offer writing and photography. They sound like a lovely organisation and may be worth checking out too 🐾💛🐾

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    3. Ah, yes, I’m very familiar with both Axis Health System and Good Sam’s Food Pantry. Both have been so helpful to me in many ways. Axis is my clinic and, while they don’t offer anything aimed specifically at deaf people, they’ve helped in so many other ways, including counseling tele-therapy and medical needs. Good Sam’s provides food help. I’ll check into the volunteer ideas you mentioned. Not sure if I’d be able to help in any way due to not being able to drive, as well as mobility issues with walking. I didn’t know about the writing/photography possibilities. Thanks for these ideas.

      And please thank Misty and her discerning nose for me for pointing out Good Sam’s food pantry. She’s such a smart girl! 🙂 *sends Misty pats from afar*

      Thank you. Xenia. I appreciate it. 🙂

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  3. I’m so appreciative of the reflection that goes into this series, Mike. What a devastating experience. You got the opposite of the support you needed during a pivotal time when you were venturing out on your own. Your story is important for you to tell and for the world to hear. It will make a difference. Congrats for having the courage to share it.

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    1. Thanks so much, Diana. Honestly, some of this stuff is rather hard to write about. Reliving some of these experiences brought back some unsavory feelings of anger and bitterness. I don’t want to be an angry, bitter person. Getting this out on paper or screen has helped more than I thought it would. Now that the series is being published at Gobblers & Masticadores, perhaps it will help me on my journey to finally fully accept my deafness and stop fighting against it. I’m not quite there yet, and I still hate being deaf, but any progress towards that goal is beneficial for my healing, I suppose.

      Your constant support is invaluable. Thank you, my friend. 🙂

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    2. Thanks, Diana, and I might add that on that day I can envision plenty of root beer and pepperoni pizza for everyone! 😀 It will come, sooner or later. It’s bound to. That’s what I’m hoping for. 🙂

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  4. rajkkhoja's avatar rajkkhoja

    Very interesting you sharing these. I am so happy. Your story is important for you to tell and for the world to hear. It will make a difference. Congrats for having the courage to share it. Have good night my friend.

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  5. I finally got around to reading the post Mike. Fantastic writing as always, I love your style so much.
    My comment on Gobblers was quite long, but I wanted to touch base here as well.
    The phrase invisible disability had a really profound impact on my perception of the community of those with the disability.
    I have friends and acquaintances who are deaf, and I overlook their reality, perhaps because in many ways I look beyond that and just accept them as one of the gang.
    But the reality is that your world, while it has all the stresses that are similar to mine, is vastly different in the absence of sound.
    This piece of writing which you shared, in your own amazing style , ha opened my eyes to many things.
    Thank you for sharing your story my friend. 💙🙏👏

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    1. Many thanks, Nigel. I really appreciate your kindness and support. I just responded to your comment over at Gobblers & Masticadores, but I’ll say here that I think your approach of simply accepting your deaf friends and acquaintances as part of the gang is the best way to go about it. One thing I can attest to as a person dealing with a disability is that it’s really awkward to be treated differently than everyone else. As an introvert who deals with shyness and depression, I hate drawing attention to myself, and my deafness does just that: it singles me out in a crowd or in the check-out line at the supermarket or at the post office or the gas station or the clinic or wherever I may be. Deaf folks really do want to fit in like everyone else. We just have some hiccups along the way as far as finding work-arounds to our communication problem. So, no worries, man. I think your deaf friends and acquaintances appreciate that you treat them like everyone else. 🙂

      Thanks so much for taking time to read and comment, amigo. I appreciate it so much. This essay is the second of six on my deaf experience. If you missed the first one, here’s a link in case you feel like checking it out:

      “The Deaf Guy” published at Gobblers & Masticadores

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  6. Hi Mike,
    I just responded to you there. Living as a deaf person compounded by other issues is difficult enough and then to have a ALS teacher that tried to undermine your power had to be horrific. TG she gave you a B- but her words and sneer may have felt like an F underneath it all.
    I went to a poetry reading last night by Palestinian poets and I have a hard time making sense of the war, let along hear what they are saying which could be half of the problem. I had to move up to the front and sit on a blanket but then I worried the whole time about getting up with these hips. Some people would never move and suffer being their and not hearing.. I’ve no idea how you do it.
    Hugs and love,
    💞
    Cindy

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    1. Yep, it’s difficult, and I certainly identify with your experience at the poetry reading. I recall way back during my freshman year of college when I had an English 103 teacher who refused to write down assignments on the chalkboard. One day after class, I approached him to ask if he could let me know the next assignment. He glared at me, then shouted that I should ask another student, that he wasn’t going to repeat himself. I told him I had hearing loss and he yelled at me to change seats in class. He was so brutal and crude about a simple question regarding a homework assignment. I left his office furious, and I immediate dropped his class. I wish I’d talked to the Dean about it and filed a report, but I didn’t have the courage to do it. So, yeah, trying to hear in certain situations can be an exercise in futility, and it’s not always possible to change seats or move closer. This is why deafness is a little different from other disabilities. Hearing people must accommodate deaf people because deaf people can’t change the way we hear. It’s up to hearing people to make sure deaf people have equal access to the world, you know? And the sad thing is, many hearing people refuse to make any form of concessions that would help deaf people understand what’s going on. All I can do is shake my head and wonder at how cruel some people can be. Not everyone knows sign-language, and the number of hearing folks who know ASL is abysmally low. Many deaf people like myself don’t know ASL for one reason or another. It’s all just another example of how the hearing and the deaf exist in totally different worlds.

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      1. You’re right Mike, hearing people should accommodate deaf people and I wish you had reported that guy too. But you can go back. As I’m reading on my phone, I’m noticing how bad my eyes are getting too. Oh for the struggles of aging. I e been thinking I should learn braille in the event I end up like my father and I’ve no idea how I would fit it in, let alone learn it.
        Hugs 🤗

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