“In Time to Come” (reprise)

(originally posted on 10/4/2021)

“In Time to Come”
(c) 2017 by Michael L. Utley

She had that look about her again
Eyes like chips of coruscating amber
Caught in the westering sun
Her over-there gaze snagged
On some distant memory
Like thorn-caught thread
Hands prim and pale
In her denim lap
Amid foxtails and dandelions
And oak shadows

Things move too fast
When they move too slowly
The heat that summer was unbearable
A bludgeon wielded by a chrome sky
Its merciless swath pounding
Everyone everything into submission
We were not spared

I could reach toward her forever
And never touch her
I’ll tell you in time to come, she’d say
Her tired smile dying before
It reached her eyes
Time to come never coming
Never time enough
Time running out

Let’s sit and enjoy the shade, she’d say
The sun slipping languidly
Into oblivion
Her face haloed
In a warm orange aura
My ephemeral love
Ensconced in flames
Flickering
Flickering

Broken pieces of her
Litter the oak-shadowed grass
One touch and she’d shatter
One embrace and she’d be
All over the place
Delicate balance was
The ruse of muses who
Knew nothing of reality
Who knew nothing of
Love and sickness
And the terrible nectar
Of the tainted honeysuckle

Even the birds are quiet

There is no darkness
As black as love
No pit as plumbless
As that filled with regret
Her brown eyes
Smiling and weeping at once
Succumbing to demons
Unknown to me
So much of her slate blank
Her portrait only half-finished
Before the paint dried out
And the canvas rent asunder

Broken pieces of her
Litter the oak-shadowed grass
I used to collect them
Their razor edges
Slicing my hands bloody
Only a few remain
Among the foxtails and dandelions
Her voice only an echo now
I’ll tell you in time to come

28 thoughts on ““In Time to Come” (reprise)

      1. Wow.. I read your stuff, and I learn. I read your stuff and I recognize an artist at work, a creator so deeply consumed by his muse, that what he writes is like an out of body experience.
        You got skills Mikey. A gift of the Gods my friend. 👏👏👏

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      2. If I’m not learning from your talent, then something is wrong with me lol. I keep my eyes on talented people and try to let something rub off. I’m forever taking notes, and memorizing lines. 😂

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    1. Thanks a bunch, Lauren. Some things, regardless of how painful they may be, just need to be written down in order for us to find our way forward, you know? Your kindness is so appreciated, my friend. 🙂

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  1. “There is no darkness
    As black as love
    No pit as plumbless
    As that filled with regret”

    Powerful writing, Mike, and a tragic story that feels both personal and universal, a moment in time and timeless. A lovely reprisal, my friend. Thanks for sharing your art.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much, Diana. I suppose the human condition is contagious–all of us share the loss of love and loved ones, the shame and regret of feeling powerless to save the ones we love. Like you said, it’s truly very personal yet universal. And it begs the question: do we stop loving, or do we continue loving, knowing it can end badly again? For some of us, it becomes too much and we surrender to a life devoid of love and filled with regret. Hence this poem. I really value your support, my friend. It means so much to me. A sincere thanks to you. 🙂

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      1. Love always ends in a heartbreaking parting. My dad is realizing this since my mom died. No one who falls in love escapes the pain. And yet, its the transience of life and love that makes them so precious. And poignant. I’m all for love despite the inevitable loss. ❤

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    1. Thanks so much, Cindy. I admire those with the courage to keep trying when it comes to love. I’m afraid I can’t count myself among that group. Some things cut too deeply. I’m glad you liked this piece, my friend. Thanks for your kindness, as always. 🙂

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  2. Mike it is actually hard to respond to this as every line as with every word takes you to that place, and that moment. Your words are powerful and yet tender, one gets the shivers from reading your work. Breathless when the last stanza appears and yet glad to read on. You paint such a vivid picture that it is impossible to shake afterwards. Blessings my friend and I hope you never stop writing. Big hugs, prayers and love, Joni

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    1. Thanks so much, Joni. This poem was really special and important to me. I wanted to firmly establish a sense of place, both vivid and fleeting, and the image I had in my mind was of her staring off into the distance as the sun set, such a fitting and prescient sort of scene as the dwindling light fades to darkness. I have a few relationship poems here on my blog, and they all refer to the same tragic girl from many years ago. Sometimes it seems closure is impossible to achieve even after years have passed. Writing helps, but it seems to always tear open the old wounds, too. Anyway, your kindness is so appreciated, my friend.

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      1. Believe me the message is vividly heard my friend. Just such a heartbreaking piece. I had a boyfriend who was my first love. When we moved back to NC I wanted to see him get closure. He got drunk fell down the stairs and broke his neck. I still dream of him. How do you ever really stop loving people like that. ❤️

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    2. Oh, that’s so tragic, Joni. I’m sorry to hear about what happened to your old boyfriend. Sometimes life is inexplicably cruel, and when we need answers, none are forthcoming. I think about this girl every day, wondering if she conquered her demons or succumbed to them. Not knowing even if she’s alive or where she is now is so hard to deal with, but I have no way of knowing. I hope she got the help she needed and is happy now. I hope she remembers, you know?

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