Imagine driving home one evening after dark. It’s been a long day, you’re exhausted, and all you want to do is grab a bite and shed the worries of the day on your sofa in front of the TV. Suddenly, those dreaded red and blue lights appear in your rear-view mirror and, having no idea whether you’ve done anything wrong, you pull over onto the shoulder and kill the motor. A cop approaches your car, knocks on your window, shines a supernova-bright flashlight into your face and proceeds to question you. You’re temporarily blinded, nervous and frustrated, wondering why this is happening. You’re also deaf and have no idea what the cop is saying. You can’t lip-read if you can’t see his face, and you can’t hear his voice—there’s no way to understand what’s going on. Confusion ensues. Next thing you know, you’re being detained for suspicion of driving while under the influence simply because you’re driving deaf.
Or, imagine yourself behind the wheel, minding your own business, completely unaware of the ambulance or firetruck on your tail, siren blaring. Once you see the strobes, you’re immediately overcome with panic and humiliation as you quickly maneuver out of the way, allowing the emergency vehicle to speed past, hoping your deafness has not caused harm to anyone.
This is what it’s like to drive while deaf.
I originally began this blog five years ago in the hopes I could meet other people like myself—folks who are deaf or hard-of-hearing (HoH) and socially isolated, folks who don’t know sign language and have no friends or support systems to help them navigate their silent world. And while I failed in my attempt to meet deaf people—and subsequently changed directions with my blog—I’m still deaf and I still wrestle with this disability every moment of my life. I have a series of six essays here on my blog detailing my story if anyone is interested in learning what deafness is really like, and while writing those essays I attempted to portray honestly what it’s like to be deaf in a hearing world. It isn’t easy, and while I don’t want any sympathy, I hope for understanding among hearing folks, as well as acceptance and compassion. After all, we’re all in this together.
A couple of days ago, a kind gentleman named Mark Vanderbilt reached out to me through my blog and shared an article regarding driving while deaf. He granted me permission to reblog it here, so I’m providing this link to this most informative piece:
As for myself, I’ve been unable to drive for the past seven-and-a-half years due to peripheral neuropathy in my lower legs and feet, so I no longer own my old Ford Ranger 4×4 and no longer worry about this issue, but millions of other deaf and HoH people are still affected. Since then, I’ve become cognizant of advances in technology and common-sense approaches to assist and improve deaf drivers’ awareness in traffic situations that can vastly improve safety and protect the rights of deaf people behind the wheel. Many of these are mentioned in Mark’s article and may benefit anyone within the entire spectrum of deafness.
So, if you or anyone you know is deaf or hard-of-hearing, this article may shed some light on ways to help deaf people drive more safely. There’s help out there, and I appreciate Mark’s kindness in contacting me and sharing this valuable information.
Sometime, the loss of one important senses, helps us, develop our, other sensesbetter, because we are, without this, particular, sensory input, and, our brain will, make sure that, we can, adapt to survive, by, allowing our, other senses, to, make up for the lacking of, our, sensory, organs, by, helping us, adjust, to use the rest of our, remainng, senses.
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Thanks so much for stating this. I agree totally. This has been my personal experience with deafness. I’ve had to rely on my vision much more due to deafness and I truly believe my vision was more acute because of my deafness. In my family, both parents and both sisters wore glasses at younger ages (sometimes in early childhood), and none of them were hearing-impaired. I began losing my hearing at age eighteen and I never had to wear glasses until my fifties (reading glasses). It’s strange, indeed, and I think it’s a good example of other senses compensating for the lose of one sense.
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Thank you Mike. A wonderful post! I’m HoH and use hearing aids because I can afford to, but hearing loss is BIGGER than most people imagine! 🙇♂️
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Thanks, Ashley. You’re right, of course–hearing loss is life-altering on so many levels, and poorly understood by normally hearing people. Deafness is referred to as the invisible disability for good reason. Folks like you and me experience life a little (or sometimes a lot) differently than most folks, but we keep trying and we make the best of our situations. I’m super-glad to know hearing aids work for you. I wore them two different times in my life and they didn’t improve my hearing loss at all. I was tested extensively ten years ago to see if I might be a good candidate for a cochlear implant and the results weren’t encouraging. The specialist told me that because I’d been deaf for so long, he couldn’t say whether an implant would help or not, so I elected to forego the surgery.
Anyway, we must keep doing our best, right? It’s all we can do, I suppose. ☺️🌳
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Thank you for this post, Mike. I’ve never thought about what it must be like to drive deaf.
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Thanks a bunch, Liz. It really is a different world for disabled folks. Ableism is a real thing, unfortunately, and we’re treated differently much of the time. I’m still stuck between the hearing world and the deaf world, and it’s a strange place where no one fits in and there’s very little support. Driving while deaf or HoH means maintaining a sort of hyper-awareness–head on a swivel, windows down in town, attention to details everywhere. Of the two scenarios I mentioned in my post, the first one never happened to me personally (I was pulled over at night but the small-town cop was kind and worked with me so I could understand him), while the second scenario occurred a couple of times. It can be more stressful driving while deaf, for sure.
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You’re welcome, Mike.
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Thank you for sharing this piece, Mike.
I can only imagine some of the struggles faced on the roads.
I thought about how often I used to have my music so loud that emergency vehicles would only be seen at the last possible moment. It’s one of the reasons I no longer wear airpods or listen to loud music while driving.
I would love to see more hi-tech and practical solutions implemented to assist drivers with hearing loss
The possibilities exist that it can happen very quickly.
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Thanks, Nigel. The first scenario I described never happened to me personally, thankfully. The last time I was pulled over for anything was more than twenty years ago (a small light that illuminated my rear license plate had burned out). It was around 11:00 p.m. and the small-town cop was really nice when I told him I was deaf, shining his flashlight on his own face when he spoke so I could lip-read him. But that incident really made me wonder how many deaf people might have different experiences with bad cops and could very well be detained simply due to communication issues. This was before I was aware of deaf ID cards one could carry and present to a cop in such a scenario, or disabled driver symbols on drivers licenses to identify deaf (or otherwise disabled) drivers.
As for the second instance I mentioned, yeah, that happened a couple of times… Holy crap, incredibly embarrassing and quite possibly dangerous, you know? I developed the habit of always–ALWAYS–rolling down the driver and passenger windows of my vehicle when I was in any town. Day, night, rain, snow, summer, winter–it didn’t matter. Those windows were down in town, and it helped keep me more situationally aware of my surroundings. Also, keeping my head on a swivel at all times was crucial to avoid such incidents. Still, I found it really disturbing that an ambulance or firetruck could be directly behind me, sirens blaring, and I couldn’t hear anything.
I don’t drive anymore so I don’t have to worry much about this stuff, but millions of other people must. There’s some cool ways to deal with this particular issue nowadays, and Mark’s article was thorough and informative.
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Im sure training of officers goes a long way to making the interaction feel less intimidating.
You’re welcome, Mike.
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I have never given any thought to what it would be like to drive when one is deaf and as I read this I thought damn in some countries the cops may be demanding bullies unwilling to take the time to understand why the driver isn’t able to understand and answer and compile
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Thank you, Joanne. You’re right about bullying, demanding cops–there are plenty of them here in the States, although the majority of law enforcement officers seems to consist of decent people. A bad cop can make anyone’s day miserable, for sure. I always worried what might happen in such an instance. The first scenario I mentioned in my post never occurred to me personally but I’d wager many deaf people have had horrible experiences in similar cases. Being pulled over for anything is stressful enough for anyone without having to worry about communications issues escalating things.
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I have a hard enough time with mine but TG the HA.s are working Mike. It’s horrible and is so limiting. I’m so sorry that you have such limitations with yours and I admire how you have created a life that has meaning in-spite of this but it’s soooooo challenging, frustrating and isolating. I’ll check Marks info out.. Maybe it can help my mother. Not sure if you laughed or cringed like i did reading Fri-Yay post.. xxxx
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Thanks, Cindy. I’m glad to know your hearing aids are a success. I’ve worn them a couple of times early in my deaf experience but my type of hearing loss (auditory processing problem) wasn’t improved with amplification. Later, I was tested for a cochlear implant and told I’d been deaf for too many years and there was no way of knowing whether an implant would help, so I decided against such a costly surgery (no guarantee whatsoever of any improvement). So, I exist with my deafness in an uneasy sort of stalemate. I hate it, but it’s mine and it continues to worsen. I’m still working on trying to accept it as part of who I am. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be okay with being deaf, so it’s a never-ending struggle for me.
As for your most recent Fri-Yay post, I loved it and found humor, sorrow and cringe in it as did you. You are such an adept story-teller, and it must be such a treat to hang out with you and your friends. Keep spreading your positivity, my friend. It makes a difference. ☺️
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You’re so very welcome, Mike and I truly feel the pain, frustration and sorrow of what you’ve had to deal with. I remember all of your trials and hope. You know, Mike it’s a tough one to accept and I can only empathize with you.. You know just maybe if you can get any way to try the cochlear implants it might be worth the try. Maybe there is insurance or funding or a Go Fund Me page.. (i hope no one reads this cuz I don’t do this but I would for you). Think about it truly. it’s soooo hard and acceptance is key but things are changing so let’s keep hope. It’s a fricking struggle and I’m sorry.
Oh thanks for telling me and glad my message came across. You know disfunction, so you get it and if I was anyone else, I’d have laughed too. Oh you’re so sweet my friend. I’m just part of the back drop with all of them and they are all quite gifted. Thank you for that, i do my best and I’m glad to hear it makes a difference.. xxxoxxoxoo
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this is something i hadn’t thought about before, and is a very real worry for a deaf person. the police can be less than patient or kind
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Thanks, Beth. Yup, it’s a different world, for sure. And you’re right about cops. Sadly, you never know what kind of person is behind the badge.
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Due to having my ears syringed every 8/9 months for decades I have thought on those occasions when my hearing is seriously affected how dreadful it must be to be deaf. Especially thinking about there being nothing visible for others to see – as with blind people they usually have a white walking stick or a guide dog. I feel in a very distant, ‘not with it’ world pre-syringing! My husband is quite deaf and wears hearing aids which don’t always work and at times I’m not that empathic! More frustrated with him!
Thanks Mike for making me think more about the unseen affects of deafness.
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Thanks so much. Deafness is invisible, for sure, and you’d be surprised at how often deaf people are accused of faking their hearing loss simply because there may be no outward sign of a disability. It’s incredibly frustrating when it happens, and even more so when those doubters are family members. And yes, hearing aids are hit-and-miss. They didn’t help me at all, nor will an implant, so I’m just doing my best to get to the point where I’m okay with being deaf. Still have a ways to go on that particular road, however.
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Mike, add me to the list of folks who never fully considered the challenges of driving with hearing loss. Thank you for this informative post, as I think we all are better people when we get information like this, and become aware of what situations people might be dealing with in their respective lives.
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Thanks, Bruce. It’s weird, for sure, to be stuck in the shadowland between the hearing world and the deaf world. I can still hear some sounds faintly, but understanding speech is not possible now. My deafness continues to worsen apace, and it’ll be complete sooner than later, I fear. Deafness is nothing compared to what a lot of people deal with daily, but it’s devastating nonetheless.
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