“A Few Haiku (44)”

(c) 2022 by Michael L. Utley


fallow fields
granary of memories
not fit for planting



mackerel scale clouds
and silver shark fin moon
eventide rolls in



cool moist predawn air
condensation in my heart
stillness in my soul



evening rain
I break bread alone
in the dim stillness



memory garden
I hoe every living thing
just to kill the weeds



summer zephyrs sail
the green grain ocean
wheat waves

36 thoughts on ““A Few Haiku (44)”

  1. I find these compelling Mike. Un-tormented yet realistic mental images come to mind. My dad would sit and eat alone with all kinds of emotion missing mom, working through grief and doing it over and over but gaining life as he was losing his to cancer. knowing he would join her with his God soon. “Evening rain”

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks, Gary. I’m sorry to hear your dad had to deal with this as well as cancer, and I’m sorry to hear about your mom. Life can be so difficult. I’ve lost both of my parents since 2015. I know my mom is in a better place now, free of pain. It’s that hope we have that we will see our loved ones again that can go a long way in assuaging our sorrows. I’m humbled that this haiku held such meaning for you. Thanks so much for your kind reflections, Gary. It means a lot to me. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much. #259 and #263 are farm boy images from years ago. There’s something powerful about planting and raising crops, as well as gardening. So many metaphors that work so well in poetry. Glad you liked these. Much appreciated. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Loneliness has it ups and downs. I think being alone can be blissful and at times heavy on the heart. But what about being among others and being lonelier than ever? Now that really hurts. I’m inclined towards being alone and yet still in touch with those who matter. What do you think, Mike?

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    1. Totally agree. The worst kind of loneliness imaginable is when you feel alone in a relationship (I’ve been there a few times and it’s unpleasant, to say the least). I’ve grown to be extremely reclusive as I’ve gotten older. I’ve always been highly introverted and shy, and being raised in a dysfunctional family caused problems with trust as well. Deafness and depression compound this isolation significantly. Yet, I’m okay with being alone. I do get lonely (and it can be crippling at times) with regards to being single at my age. It can be pretty tough “breaking bread alone in the dim stillness” every day, not having anyone there in the special context of a loving relationship. That part is a constant dagger in my heart and seems to haunt me every time I try to go to sleep. But as for being alone in general, I’ve sort of always been this way, watching others from afar as they seem to effortlessly fit into society while I remain on the periphery of life. Being around people is draining for me and leaves me exhausted (that INFP personality o’ mine). All in all, I can tolerate being alone, but I will always yearn for that special type of loving relationship that has always eluded me.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Your words are deeply heartfelt, Mike. Wanting that special bond but not being able to find it. And love comes in so many forms. When you give it to others but don’t receive it, it can really hurt. I think many feel this way, even the ones in ‘relationships’ but they just don’t have the guts to accept it and say it. You are brave and that’s why you have the strength to write so beautifully. Cherish that talent and feeling. πŸ™‚

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    2. Thank you, Terveen. I suppose at the end of the day, we all do the best we can, and hopefully that’s enough to see us through the ensuing night. Thanks for your kind words. I appreciate it so much. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Cindy. Growing up on a farm meant having a garden, and having a garden meant hoeing weeds. We also used to hoe weeds in our neighbors’ pinto bean fields. The imagery has always stuck with me–trying to kill the weeds without harming the plants. In this haiku, I felt like sheer desperation for peace of mind can sometimes cause us to overreact–we end up destroying the few good things we have in our attempt to rid ourselves of the bad things (in this case, memories). The pinto bean hoeing imagery was really strong in my mind when I wrote this one. Glad you enjoyed these. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re so welcome Mike and I love the backstory and memories and so happy it evoked that deep remembrance because it brought such depth to your work. I did know where you were going with that piece and I loved it and I hope it helped till your inner terrain for a bit more peace of mind dear friend. πŸ’– Loved!

        Liked by 2 people

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